My Dearest Readers,
When I started this blog, I honestly didn’t have the faintest idea what I was doing. I simply thought, hey, I love writing and I have a LOT of thoughts on dating… why not combine the two? I had no plan. No goals. I was just having fun.
And now, more than two years later, I am shocked and grateful for how far this blog has come. If you had told me back then, that I would end up having hundreds of thousands of readers who would chime in and offer me (and each other) advice and love and compassion – I would have told you, you were high. But somehow, I was blessed and that is exactly what happened.
This blog has changed my life (yes I know that sounds corny but it’s true) and it’s because of all of you. You all have changed me with your advice, your empathy, your camaraderie, your tough love and even your anger. And through all of this, you have given me an entirely different perspective on dating. I have fundamentally changed how I interpret the things guys do and I think you’ve left me more open minded and forgiving than when I started. For this and for so much more, I am eternally grateful.
But alas, all good things must at some point come to an end, and the time has come for me to put the laptop down. I am (officially!!!) moving to NYC next month, and for me this move is all about having a clean slate. It’s a chance to close the book on the past and to move forward with all of the wonderful lessons and new perspectives I have gained. And in order to truly do this, I can’t very well be blogging on the same blog with all my past love and heartbreak only a short scroll away.
So what does this mean? Well, I want the site to live on. I take great pride in what we’ve all accomplished here and I love (and welcome) those who are still discovering S&20s. And while I won’t be blogging anymore, that doesn’t mean the site has to be empty. What I’d love to do is find a new Cali Bradshaw. Ideally a single 20 something who likes to date and who loves to write. I’m looking for someone who is funny and sarcastic but also willing to be vulnerable. And most importantly, I’d like to pass the reigns to someone who knows they can handle the punches that come with talking about dating on the internet.
If you think this person could be you, or you know someone perfect for the role, shoot me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org. While it can be a bit of work, I can tell you first hand, there is nothing in my life that I more proud of. And plus, you’ll be inheriting the best readers a blogger could ask for! This group of men and women are smart, funny and kind. I know that if you are awesome (which you will be, because I picked you :)) that they will welcome you with open arms.
As for me, it’s possible that I’ll get the itch to blog again (although likely on a different subject) and if so, you’ll be the first to know where I’m at. But for now, before I go, I’d like to say one final thank you and goodbye to the true stars of this site – the men I’ve dated. Cheers to you, my dear men. I couldn’t have done this without you! Here are my final words…
Mr. Not Quite Right - I will probably always wonder what would have happened if we had met later in life. There is no denying, we had awesome chemistry and perhaps if we’d been older and more mature, we would have been more equipped to handle it. And then again, maybe not.
Either way, I am sorry for how I acted during and/after our break up and if I could go back in time and change things I would. You are a good man – strong, sensitive, fun – and I will always be grateful for those few months we spent together. They were truly some of the happiest of my entire life.
Mr. Cute but Whiny - Oh Jake, you are a tough one. On one hand, out of ALL of the guys I’ve dated, I think you are the closest to being like the person I want to end up with. You are smart, and funny and successful and of course, handsome. But you also behave like a real jackass sometimes and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. I am hoping that after our last blow up, you’ve gotten your shit together and realized that that isn’t the kind of boyfriend or friend that you want to be. If not, look alive. You’re better than that. Oh, and I still think Brandi sucks.
D – Saying goodbye to you is both the simplest and hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. On one hand, it’s so easy because you and I make no sense and have a long history of hurting one another. You don’t want what I want in life, you don’t like to do what I like to do, and I am fairly sure that if we ever really got serious, we’d drive each other absolutely nuts. On the other hand, I loved you for a very long time and I think you will always have a tiny piece of my heart. You are the only guy who I have felt totally comfortable being myself around and there is an amazing freedom in knowing that you’ll still be there even when I act like an overly sensitive, dramatic nut or say things I shouldn’t It’s hard to think about a time where I won’t be going over to your house and staying up all night, laughing for hours about absolutely nothing. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t already miss the way you hold me and the butterflies I get every time you kiss me (even after 10 freaking years).
But all that being said, I am sure in my decision. You have finally convinced me, you aren’t going to change no matter how much I believe in you. And even though I still think you are selling yourself short, I have given up. I have accepted that you either really will die alone, or more likely, once I am gone you’ll get back together with Cami, and you’ll marry her unimpressive ass because she’ll never challenge you a day in your life. And you know what, I am ok with that. She will take care of you and hopefully make you happy and while you are doing that, I will finally have the freedom to get the future I want.
Dyl, I am absolutely certain, that someday I’ll look back on this and it will all make sense. I’ll know that the many, MANY, lessons I learned with you were what prepared me to be ready for the guy I am meant to be with, and for that I will always be grateful.
And to the rest – Brad (s), The Texter, the lifeguard, the tall guy, my bestie and every guy in between – thank you for the role each and every one of you played. Looking back, it is SO obvious why none of you were right for me, and I take solace in knowing that no matter how intense my feelings were for each of you at one point, that now you are nothing more than a blip on the radar.
With that, there is nothing left to say but farewell! Goodbye my dear readers, I truly love you and will miss you lots. Please, pretty please, keep in touch.