So, this week I turn 27. Yes, 27. Do you realize how old that is?? It is “late twenties” old.
And although I’m never a fan of getting older and more wrinkly, I’ve been dreading this particular birthday for awhile… You see, for as long as I can remember, I assumed I’d get married at 27. Well clearly that’s not happening and now I not only feel old, but I also feel like an under-achiever.
Of course, I know what most of you will say – “Oh get over it… you can’t plan your life! 27 is young! Yada yada…” And you know what, I completely agree with you. But that doesn’t make this milestone any less hard to swallow. I can’t help but feel, well, icky.
As I was expressing this sentiment to my boss (we’re tight like that) she mentioned she had a similar experience with her own milestone year. She said at the time her sister told her to stop looking at the birthday as a report card and start thinking of it as a progress report. So you aren’t where you want to be? What are you going to do to change it?
I mulled over her advice for a bit and decided I liked it. It’s not like life is over at 27! I have plenty of time to make changes. So I shall.
And the good news is, when it comes to dating, I am already well aware of some changes I can make. In fact, I am well aware of a LOT of changes I can make. So in honor of my 27th birthday, here is a list of 27 things I’ve learned about dating this past year. Perhaps by applying the below lessons, I’ll be able to move forward in the dating world and maybe, just maybe, this will be the year I fall in love.
27 Dating Lessons
1. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Walk away from these people – quickly.
2. Lot’s of people are afraid of facing their fears (dating or otherwise) and there is no shame in admitting your afraid.
3. Guys can be full of shit. Not all guys, but some, and I won’t be forgetting that lesson again anytime soon.
4. If you are in a dating rut, quitting isn’t always the answer. Try doing something different. Shake things up… who knows what will happen.
5. No one thinks I should be with D… I hear ya peeps, I do. And I am working on it.
6. You can’t judge yourself for your past dating mistakes. All that does is make you feel like shit, and often feeling like shit just makes you commit more mistakes. Damn cycle.
7. It’s hard to ignore really hot sex. BUT hot sex, does not a relationship make. Too bad!
8. There are a lot of guys who don’t know crap about writing a good online dating email and it is not worth it to let every “heeeeeyyy sexy girrrrl!!!” depress you.
9. Plans don’t always pan out. See the top of this post.
10. Everyone wants different things out of a relationship. What works for you may not be the type of relationship that works for your friends (or your blog readers). Don’t worry about what others think or do, and if you are happy, go with it. It’s your journey.
11. Just because a guy isn’t wearing a wedding ring, doesn’t mean he isn’t married. Sigh.
12. The only really good way to avoid looking like a jealous bitch is to not hang out with people who will make you jealous. Period.
13. Despite the fact that most girls seem to share the same sentiment about the rampant over-use of emoticons, there seems to be a few passionate guys defending them. Ladies, I guess we are just going to have to learn to deal?
14. If you have a bite mark on your leg, there is no way to convince someone that said bruise is anything other than a bite mark.
15. There is a fine line between taking it slow and taking it nowhere. To avoid the latter, stay out of “friendly” hang outs in the beginning and never, ever, discuss taking it up the ass.
16. Girls sometimes obsess so much over whether a guy likes them that they forget to ask themselves about how they are feeling. This is not beneficial for anyone. Don’t do it.
17. Being good on paper doesn’t mean shit. Again, sigh.
18. While you do sometimes have to play the game, there are definitely times in dating where being direct and cutting the bullshit will make your life a lot easier.
19. Changing your number will not stop you from calling someone you want to call.
20. If someone is leading on their best friend, that should be a red flag. This person is someone who really likes his/her ego-petted and isn’t afraid to “use someone” to get it done.
21. It is extremely hard to be open to meeting someone new if you are still hung up on someone from your past.
22. Free online dating isn’t all bad. While I doubt I’ll ever try Plenty of Fish again, I actually had an OK experience on OK Cupid. (Pun intended).
23. A guy who is confident and in control is automatically much hotter. I am going to continue to look for these elusive males.
24. Sometimes, the phase out is the way to go. I know some of you weren’t so thrilled with this plan, but I gotta say, it has been effective a few times in the past year. It still works!
25. We all have days where we think we are going to die alone. AND these days pass…
26. Stay away from guys named Brad – I have kissed 2 guys named Brad and both disappeared on me. Brad = bad.
27. Girls can be bat-shit crazy. Sometimes it is easy to blame the dudes for the disaster that is dating in your twenties, but the truth is, we’re all guilty. We confuse guys, we demand a lot, and sometimes, we are just flat out crazy. It’s best to keep that in mind when dating and throw the guy a bone every now and then. It’s rough out there for everyone.
So there you have it… I think I am officially ready to enter my 27th year of life now. Bring it on love. I am ready for you!