The emo status update is one of those guy behaviors that I really just don’t understand. Yep, I get it – guys have emotions too and us ladies can’t expect you to be stoic all the time. This I know. But must you proclaim said emotions to the masses on Facebook? Status updates like, “Extremely annoyed right now,” “I’m bored,” and “I am down in the dumps,” really grate me. The only thing worse is the uber-vague and ever popular song lyric update, or the random prose update like, “I’m a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride.” (No, I’m not making this shit up. That last one is a for reals update that my friend’s boyfriend put up today.). All these emo-esque updates tell us, the girls you are dating, a lot about you. And none of it is good.
Here’s what we learn when we see these sad little emo updates on Facebook.
• You are passive aggressive. Clearly, something or someone is making you upset. But rather than talk about it or remedy the situation, you are expressing your anger/sadness via a vague status update. If this is the way you handle confrontation, I am not looking forward to the first time you are upset with me.
• You are whiny. Pretty sure you aren’t hoping to accomplish something with your sad little update. You are just whining and wanting sympathy. I prefer positive, solution oriented people. Enough said.
• You don’t want to lean on me. Hey we all get upset from time to time, but that’s when you turn to the people who mean the most to you to get you through it. If something is getting you down, why not give me, the girl you are dating, a call? I’d be happy to talk it through with you. Or better yet, come over and give you a back massage.
• You don’t care if you hurt my feelings. You have to know that I will read this update and that I can’t help but feel like a failure in the girlfriend department when you say things like, “I am down in the dumps.” Even if it is work or your fam that is upsetting you, I am going to take it personally and you could clearly care less.
All this is bad enough, but the real problem with these emo status updates is that they don’t just affect the way in which we view you. They also tend to make us ladies feel super insecure about ourselves. What girl isn’t going to wonder if said emo status update is directed at her? When you say you are bored, does that mean we aren’t doing a good job of entertaining you? And as for those song lyrics about looking deep into the blue eyes of the girl you love. Ummm, I have green eyes… Who ya talking about?
And the absolute worst part of it of all is that everyone else can see these updates too. When you write a cryptic update about love and pain, all of your Facebook friends are wondering if we are fighting or if you are still pining over your ex. And hell, for us, that’s embarrassing. Lets be real, the only thing that sucks more than being annoyed, is being embarrassed. So please, guys, don’t do this to us.
In short,, no good can come from the emo status update, and unless you want something to really be sad about, (eg. us dumping your whiny ass) figure out another way to express your angst. Or at the very least, block me from the update so I can be blissfully ignorant.