Last weekend, I was on fire. As my roomie so eloquently put it, I was the belle of the ball. Everywhere I went, I was getting hit on, and after a long and painful slump, all this attention was welcomed – especially because it came from guys that didn’t make me want to gag.
Any girl will tell you that she gets hit on a lot, we all do, but most attempts to talk to us are so awkward/awful that we force ourselves to forget them as soon as they happen. So it is rare to have an evening out where you actually feel like, damn, that was fun!
After last Friday, I started thinking about why I enjoyed talking to all those men and I realized, it was the way in which they approached me and what they said. Clearly, there really is a good and bad way to hit on a girl. So, this post is for the fellas. It is your insider’s guide to hitting on the ladies that I hope will help you make out, date, or find true love.
Tips for Hitting on a Girl
- Say the right compliment – Here’s the thing, girls get complimented all the time. But a good compliment – now that is hard to come by. Generally speaking, I prefer when guys hold comments like, “You are so hot,” or “You make me horny,” for the bedroom. While I don’t mind hearing those things, I don’t love having some guy I just met in the bar say them to me. It’s like taking out a giant sign that says “I JUST WANT TO FUCK YOU.” Even if you do, be smarter than that. You’d be surprised how effective something as simple as, “You are pretty,” or “Man, you have a great smile” can be.
- Start simple – Guys who try and come up with creative ways to approach a girl, usually come off as awkward and sometimes overly aggressive. All you really need to do is to saddle up next to her at the bar and ask her what she is drinking. The key here is to read the signs. Not every girl you stand next to is going to be interested in you – her loss. Maybe she’s a troll. That being said, it will behoove you to not waste time on said girls. Pay attention to her body language. Is she turned away from you? Is she keeping her face towards the bar? Is she holding conversations with her friends while you are chatting her up? Then she probably isn’t interested. As a general rule, when a girl wants you to talk to her, you’ll know it.
- Ask her questions – Once you have successfully gotten her to talk to you, make sure you are having a two-way conversation. A lot of guys seem to talk about themselves a lot when hitting on a girl, and my guess is this stems from wanting to impress said female. But asking us questions is key. It makes it seem like you are interested in more than just making out with us, and that maybe you actually want to get to know us.
- Take control - Confidence is one hundred percent the hottest accessory you can have. If you don’t have confidence, learn to fake it. There are little tell tale signs that show us you aren’t too confident – like asking if you can buy us a drink or asking if you can stand next to us. Uh yea, I always will take a free drink so no need to ask and I don’t own any area of the bar, so stand where you please. The absolute worst is the guy who tries to give you his number rather than take yours. (I haven’t yet met a girl who likes that). I am not saying that you need to be rude or a prick, but there are small things you can do to take control of a situation and work it.
- Don’t be afraid to be goofy - Guys, you don’t have to spend the whole night trying to seduce us. If it’s going well, grab the girl’s hand, pull her on the dance floor and spin her around a bit. Steer away from only “bumping and grinding” on the dance floor, as again, this says I am trying to get in your pants. Instead bust out your goofy, fun moves that will make her laugh and think you are funny. Note, you can’t only dance like a moron. Mix in a little touching/grinding/what have you so that she knows you are attracted to her.
- Focus – If you’ve got a live one, by all means, focus your attention on said lady. It’s easy for us to tell if you are playing the odds, and odds are, you’ll end up all alone.
- Be patient - If you want to successfully hit on a woman, you are going to need to plan on spending longer than five minutes. If you’ve made it past the first 7 minutes or so and this girl is still talking to you, congrats, she is interested. Now don’t blow it by being in a hurry. Spend some time just chatting, laughing, dancing, playing a game, etc… before you make your move – whatever that may be.
- Touch appropriately - Do not grab the girl’s boob or touch her ass, but holding a hand as you head to the bar – totally acceptable and usually welcomed. Just make sure you let enough time pass before you make this move and keep it PG.
- Seal the deal - If you like the girl and you think there is even a slight chance that she likes you too, then at least make the ask for the phone number. If she shoots you down, le bummer. But more often than not, if she let you talk to her for longer than 5 minutes, she’s going to give you her number. So do yourself a favor, and ask for it
- And finally, send a follow-up message - This one is just a little icing on the cake, but if you really like a girl, consider sending her a polite text that says something like, “Really great meeting you. Hope you got home safe.” Mr. Not Quite Right sent a text like that right after we met and it gave me butterflies.
Now I can make no promises that these tips are fool proof. It is all in your execution, of course. But I do hope that, at the very least, I can point you in the right direction. And if you still need some more help – check out this example of a gentleman who successfully got my attention this past week.
The most important thing to remember is, that while most of your attempts to hit on a girl may still be a failure, you have to keep at it. Your skills will only improve and if you let yourself feel bummed every time some dumb beezy rejects you, you’ll never stand a chance. So go forth and hit on the next pretty lady you see. And then come tell me how it goes…