3 Sep
Okkkk guys, lets talk about text messaging again, shall we? It has been over a year since our last chat on the subject, and unfortunately, the situation appears to be getting worse…
Listen, I have come to accept that text messaging is the only form of communication the male species likes to use. And although I still stand by what I said in our last talk (that there are, gasp, times where picking up the phone is more appropriate) I have learned to appreciate a quality text or two. In fact, I’ve found that a witty text banter can give you a lot of insight into the chemistry you might have with a fella and, in some cases, texting can even serve as some quality foreplay. However, this is only when the texting is executed correctly – which, it is so often, not.
So, my gentleman friends, I share the following list of texting pet peeves with you in love because I know you are not committing these faux pas with malicious intentions. Most likely you are completely unaware that these are even somewhat irksome. Therefore, in order to help you keep on the good side of these tricky females you are pursuing, here are a few more texting kinks I think we should work through.
1. Starting every text convo in the exact same (boring) way.
If every text conversation you send me begins with ”Hey how’s it going?” I get stressed because there is no creative response to such a blah question. What can my response be other than, “Going good! How are you?” which is just as uninteresting as the original question. I want our text conversations to have some spice! Let’s be a bit more creative with our openers, shall we?
Besides, in the instance where something is really wrong, it is not real likely that I am going to start texting you my whole sob story. So instead, I am forced to lie and just go with “everything’s great!” because texting you about my grandpa’s death would just be depressing.
2. Waiting forever to text me back
I really don’t get when you guys text, I write back, and then you wait a good 30 mins to write back again. Hi, you JUST wrote me. What the hell? Is this some sort of weird game playing thing? Do you really think that I think you are super busy and thus unable to write me back? And if this isn’t a good time, why did you text me in the first place? eesh.
I like my text conversations to have a nice flow. If we are dragging a text conversation out over multiple hours, I promise you, I’ve lost interest.
3.Texting me for an extended period of time before I’ve ever met you or heard your voice
I can’t even pretend to understand the guys that do this. Dear sir, you want a pen pal, not a girlfriend…
I once met a guy on Match who texted me for an entire month without asking me out. I had never head the guy’s voice but I knew all about the time he spent back east over the holidays, the sweater his mom bought him for Christmas, and the weekend of fun he had when his college friends were in town. Dude, I don’t care. If we aren’t friends and we are never going to meet, there is no way I am interested in daily texts from you.
Needless to say, when I switched my phone number, I forgot to tell him.
4. Asking for a picture.
Yes, that kind of picture. Apparently, this is not that uncommon these days as I’ve asked around and many of my friends have received similar requests.
Hey guys, this one is pretty simple… unless we are in a super serious relationship and I trust you completely, there is no chance in hell that I am sending you a picture like that. So don’t bother asking!
Ya gotta see it from my point of view. I am a respected business woman with an easily google-able name. If that shit ended up on the Internet I would die. No literally, I would curl up in a ball and die. So if you and I just started dating, or we aren’t exclusive (D, I am looking at you…), asking me to send you a picture is awkward. Then I have to feel like a total square when I turn you down, and I do not appreciate that.
5. Being a text stalker
Buddy, if I haven’t responded to your last few texts, that is not code for, “please keep texting me.” And just so you know, waiting a few days/weeks/months in between each text doesn’t make me any more inclined to respond. Read the signs. I am not answering = I’m not interested. Perhaps if you had called in the first place, I would have been. :)
6. Deep conversations via text
Call me crazy, but I’d really prefer not to have some deep conversation about “us” or any other serious matter via text. If you absolutely can’t make it happen in person, then at least pick up the phone. The chances of all parties understanding the takeaways from said conversation go up like 100-fold. No one likes a misunderstanding.
7. Apology texts
By far my biggest texting pet peeve is the, ”I’m sorry texts.” You know what, I am sorry too. I am sorry that I have to include this in this list, because to me it is so darn obvious that if you are saying you are sorry you should be picking up the phone. My absolute favorite offender of this was dear Brad, who cancelled dinner on me via text and then had the nerve to apologize for not calling. Puhlease. Do not, do not, do not, say your sorry via text message.
So there you have it, guys, just a few pitfalls to watch out for if you are a text-happy gentleman. I think us females have really come a long way in our appreciation and tolerance of texting, but I beg of you, meet us half way. In return, we’ll work on initiating the text conversation more often so that you don’t have to do all the heavy lifting. Sound like a deal?
I actually don’t like texting because I don’t have a text plan. The longer the conversation becomes, the more I am paying. Of course, that’s another story.
I like the list and agree with most of it. But I have to say I always thought it was women that loved texting. They’re usually the ones typing on their phone 24/7. So, is it just that older women don’t like a guy that’s texting or do younger women agree? Could you do some research on that and report back?
Plus, did Brad ever get back to you after disappearing?
I completely agree. My typical texting frequency is maybe a few dozen a month, which usually consists mostly of making plans and random chatter with old friends back in CO.
As soon as I start dating somebody that number can easily jump into the hundreds and it’s not something I initiate.
not exactly an expert but I’ll try. Younger women love to text just as much as guys. I text maybe 3000 texts a months(I’m 18 and in college as a freshman). The majority of people I text are girls that like me, we end up texting all day just about what is going on.
Though I do know that older women do text, not as much to guys just their girlfriends. My mother and other ladies I work with text all the time but only to their best friends about funny things in their lives.
Quick question…
Is it considered inappropriate to skip the ‘texting phase’ altogether?
I made the leap into round 2 of online dating (OKC this time), met a girl, and after a few days of messaging she gave me her number last night with an open invitation to text her any time.
Things are going well so far and I have been careful to show a lot of restraint in our messaging so, at the very least, we’ll have plenty to talk about when we meet.
I’ve been pretty direct about not wanting a ‘pen pal’ or ‘online girlfriend’ and she seems to agree.
Does it come off too aggressive to take the ‘I’ve had enough text conversations, lets meet’ approach now?
I can play the ‘spontaneous yet cute’ texting game as well as anybody but physical chemistry is going to be the make-or-break moment. I’d rather put it to the test early before either of us is emotionally invested.
This made me chuckle. have recently joined a dating site and really all of the above occur frequently. And the texting! Really where is the originality these days?
Check out my blog for new book Mr Wrong. This sounds similiar to my dating disaster. Check it out have a good look around the site and feel free to share your story or comment x
http://dingdongitsmrwrong.wordpress.com/share-your-stories/your-mr-wrong-stories/
http://dingdongitsmrwrong.wordpress.com/about/
OMG I just came across your blog today, and I relate to all of it. But this texting bs is especially annoying. Like SERIOUSLY, if you just effin texted me, I KNOW YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE and can reply immediately. Wtf.
Oh and the whole pen pals things is super annoying too…that’s happened multiple times with guys I’ve met online. I talked to one guy on the phone and texted him for 2 weeks! I was starting to get frustrated, so I was like “Um, are we ever going to meet IN PERSON? That’s kinda how you develop a relationship.”
And this mother f-er had the nerve to tell me that he has to make sure a “girl is worth it” before he goes on a date because he’s “not like that.” If he were “like that”, he would go “on a million dates.”
What. An. Idiot. How in the world would you know someone is “worth it” if you haven’t met them anyway! Dumbass. He clearly needed to get off his high horse anyway.
Sigh. Dating in your 20′s is no bueno.
Brittany