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Getting Prepped for a First Date

8 Feb

Welp, I have decided to take a quick break from my dating hiatus to go out on a first date with the nice boy from the golf tournament. Although he asked me out VIA TEXT, I thought he was witty and cute, so I have accepted his invitation for tomorrow night.

This means it is now time to begin the pre-date ritual. I’m never one to enter into a first date situation lightly. It is delicate, there are many pitfalls and it has the potential to be a night you always remember. Ample preparation is needed. And as someone who has had A LOT of first dates, I feel as thought I have gotten this part of the dating game down to a science.  So to help you out, I have compiled my tips on how to get prepped for a first date.

• Plan out your whole day - The last thing you want to do is run out of time and feel frazzled. I like to work backwards from “date time” and make sure I have plenty of time to get home and get ready before the gentleman comes to pick me up. If it’s an early evening date, then I plan to wake up extra early in the morning to take care of whatever I can before work.

• Pick out the perfect first date outfit – I have a couple of go-to first date outfits but they all have a few things in common — they are flattering and comfortable without making me look like I am trying too hard. And although I am a bit of a trendy girl, I try to keep the first date outfit more on the classic side. Think jeans, subtle heels and a black sweater or blouse. The end goal is to make sure you feel pretty and to make sure you don’t wear anything offensive.

• Avoid the temptation to Facebook stalk - I really suck at this because I am an excellent FB stalker, but this never goes well. Looking at pictures of him from four years ago does not makes you like the guy more and it usually leads to unfair judgments. I certainly wouldn’t want someone judging me based on my college pictures. That is SO not who I am now.

• Make your list of things not to talk about – This is key. There are certain awkward questions that you should already have an answer prepped for (eg. who was that guy with you at the golf tournament?) and there are certain topics that you’ll want to avoid at all costs. I remind myself of what these “Do Not Bring Up” topics are, and think of my answers for those tricky questions before I ever leave my house. This is my best strategy for avoiding a first-date pitfalls.

• Craft your perfect Facebook status update - Pretty sure the only reason to stay friends with an ex on Facebook is so that you can update your status when you are going out with another guy (oh whatever, you know you do it too…). Take the time to craft a smart update and avoid anything that makes you sound desperate like, “Oh THANK GOD I finally have a date.” A well executed update will serve your purpose without making you out to be a bitch.

• Know your limits – Everyone has different rules for a first date, but no matter what yours are, make sure you are clear on them before he picks you up. The critical ones you should discuss with yourself are: 1. How far will you go? and 2. How much will you drink? (sorta related, eh?) For me, it’s a good night kiss and 2, maybe 3, drinks if it is a long date. Setting the rules for yourself will help you stay in control even if you are sure it is love one hour in.

• Let yourself get excited – This is one of the toughest for us to do but probably the most important. It is easy to get bogged down by all the shit from past relationships that have failed but put it aside for this one night. You’ll never have a positive first date if you don’t give the new guy a chance.

At the end of the day, no one first date is all that important. If the guy is truly the right guy for you, no matter how much you botch the date, you’ll still see him again. And if he isn’t the right guy, a flawless date won’t turn it into a relationship. That being said, I always feel better when I go into a situation armed and ready, and thus I live by the above first date pointers. Anyone have some additional tips to add before tomorrow night’s adventure?

2 Responses to “Getting Prepped for a First Date”

  1. Andrew November 16, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

    I like that you are encouraging girls to get invested in the date. I feel like the popular advice would be to “act like it’s no big deal,” but that kind of attitude is just preparation for rejection.

    I’d be bummed if a girl showed up and had legitimately convinced herself that it was no big deal. I mean, maybe it isn’t a big deal, but both parties really shouldn’t even bother dating if it isn’t.

    Nice post.

    • Cali Bradshaw November 17, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

      Oh geez, I definitely don’t think it is wise to act like it is no big deal. That is no way to treat someone who is giving up time to hang with you! Frankly, I like to put effort into plans with friends too. It show respect.

      You are right on though that people think if they put minimal effort in it won’t suck as much if they are rejected. It is such a myth! The truth is, rejection sucks no matter what, so why not look awesome?

      Thanks for the comment,
      Cali

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