So it has been more than a month since I broke up with Mr. Not Quite Right. After our big break up (in which I dumped him, mind you) we had the obligatory, “lets stay friends” talk. Silly me, I thought we really meant it.
About a week ago I reached out to try and establish contact. I had some gnarly shit going on in my life. Shit that he had known about when we were together, and I thought it might be helpful if I could talk to someone about it. So I gave him a call. No biggie. I did my best to sound “breezy” on my message (failed miserably) and figured welp, that was that. Later I received a text saying he was out of town for his “man weekend” and that we’d talk later. Ok, cool beans.
Soooo I wait and wait and then nothing. 6 days later – nothing. This leaves a normally mellow girl to start obsessing. Was he so drunk that he doesn’t remember texting me? Did someone tell him I hooked up with Mr. Tall the week after we broke up and now he’s mad? Is he just over talking to me and moving on?
Rather than run these thoughts constantly through my head, I decide to attempt a one more final text. Ya know, in case he forgot. Or so I tell myself. (Insert groan here)
We proceed to have a very short dumb conversation about a TV show and then… NOTHING. No, “so hey how’s it been?” Or “How did that job interview go?” Or maybe even, “Did you have a good weekend?” Just nothing. At this point I am left with only one option (clearly) and that is to get snippy. So I text him back “Welp, good talk. Take care. ”
Now, I don’t need much help in seeing what went wrong here, because, clearly, what went wrong was ME. But, lessons learned are as follows:
- “I really want us to stay friends” actually means, “I hope your big tall guy friends don’t beat me up when I see them at the bars.” It does not mean, “I care about what’s going on in your life” nor does it mean, “I want to talk to you.”
- Don’t date someone who leaves you wondering if he is ignoring your text OR just got too drunk to remember it.
- If someone doesn’t call, don’t make excuses for them. It’s likely that if you do reach out to them again, you’ll get a stimulating conversation about LOST. And that’s about it.
Feel free to share these 3 great new learnings with your friends. Could have saved me a bit of trouble (and from looking like the bitchy ex gf who writes snippy text messages…)